Cover Your Janus!

Friends, would it be okay if the government came into your home to make sure you weren’t doing anything “bad” such as drinking, eating junk food, or not getting enough sleep? I do declare that we called that Soviet-style “Communism” in the 80’s. Further, I argue that most of my fellow Americans would stand against such a practice. After all, freedom is why men like George Washington and Private Ryan put their lives at risk. So then, why is it okay if a company does the same thing?

According to the Houston Business Journal (http://houston.bizjournals.com/houston/stories/2009/03/02/smallb3.html), out of 100 large employers surveyed in New York, fifty six percent monitored their employee’s MySpace and Facebook accounts. The article goes on to cite other examples such as Virgin Atlantic employees being fired for mouthing off online about the airline, and a Florida police officer who was fired for posting a picture on Facebook of himself off-duty in uniform with comments about drinking and female anatomy. A quick web search will yield many more examples of the like.

Sadly, corporate meddling with personal business is nothing new. BusinessWeek (http://www.businessweek.com/debateroom/archives/2008/09/employee_wellne.html) states the following about Henry Ford: “The company’s Sociological Dept.’s 150 inspectors made surprise visits to employees’ homes looking for signs of drinking, gambling, buying on credit, a dirty home, or an unwholesome diet.” If I didn’t know any better, I would assume that Ford had been working for the Germans.

So as my plastic surgeon once said, where do you draw the line? Sure, using a work computer for personal use is not right, Facebook or not. However, if as an American I cannot be punished for writing something negative about the President, I would think that I should be able to write something negative about my employer with the same freedom. As it stands, a potential employer can find this blog, get offended because I used the “f” word (even though in a legal manner and on my free time), and not offer me their CEO position. Grab your pitch forks I say! Let’s start a Tea Party…oh wait, that’s taken? Damn you Glenn Beck!

While I may not have tea, I do have a theory as to the causation of this quandary. Please say hello to Janus:

Janus is the two-faced Roman (the civilization, not my family) for which the month of January is named. Janus represents the duality of nature, including our own. He also gave Batman a hell of a time in the “Dark Knight.” Most importantly, Janus reminds us of our two selves. We have the outer selves, represented in the picture above by the handsome man with a nice haircut and a fancy headband. This is the side we show at our Bar Mitzvah, our best friend’s wedding, and when you go in for that dream job interview.

But then we also have the darker side. The right side of the image above is a disheveled figure. His beard is unkempt and he appears to have ingested too much of a prune juice/Guinness/Valvoline motor oil mix. The fat guy from “The Hangover” would represent this side quite fittingly.

This little beast is our real selves. This is the guy who comes home after work takes off his Armani suit and slips in to a pair of sweatpants so he can better enjoy his Cinemax package. This same person checks out other women when the good side isn’t being watched. When you were a kid, this is the side that tossed peas on the rug when mom wasn’t looking. In high school, this was the side that felt their first breast. (Sorry for that, Florida police).

Neither side is necessarily good or evil and they both ultimately form the multiple personas that make us who we are as a multi-layered organism. Where we go wrong is when we do too much to hide the bearded, Budweiser chugging Janus. If an employer sees a picture of you on Facebook hiding a murder weapon, okay then you may not be a strong candidate for anyone. However, what’s the big deal with a picture of someone, dare I say it, drinking? Jesus loved wine and he would’ve made an excellent employee. In fact, he would’ve been a savior for most companies. What about an employee who wrote posts on Facebook about how much he loved breasts? First, find out if he means chicken or female, and second, congratulate him for his love of fine dining and/or the beautiful miracle that is the female form. If the guy’s resume shows he went to Harvard, you may still want to consider him for your company. Upon further reflection, do we want a society that shuns female breasts?

Colleagues, we have all become so serious. Even damn kids are sipping on afternoon lattes. Facebook and other social networking sites are a new and exciting way for us to connect. Just because someone wants to share a bit of their personal life doesn’t mean they can’t be hired. An employee who complains to his friends about a company should not be fired but asked by his company to elaborate on the problem so that it can be immediately remedied. Going back to the Virgin Atlantic example, I would like to know if the employee’s complain was that the planes are held together by Elmer’s Glue. After all, if you caught your doctor talking to his friends about how you have cancer before telling you first, what would take priority, the fact that he’s violating your privacy or the fact that you just found out about the cancer?

Maybe I made too much of a ruckus over nothing. Now that I think about it, it’s doubtful that employers will be upset over the latest Facebook post about some sheep you virtually fucked on Farmville.