10 ways janitors could commit suicide:
10. Be a janitor and just wait for something to happen. Poverty will likely be the first to show up to your death bed.
9. Answer the question of what all those sprays smell like.
8. Mix and match to create your own super cleaning solutions. Would Windex mixed with Lysol create something that cleans both glass and regular surfaces?
7. Half way into your sandwich, ask yourself if you washed your hands.
6. Stop wearing gloves.
5. Since you probably work nights, take out your broom to the streets and challenge local street hoodlums.
4. Late night office Olympics. If you spray the cleaning solutions from #8 on the ground, your office chair bobsled won’t be able to stop you from going through the 20th floor office window.
3. Just how hot is that boiler downstairs anyway?
2. If you find just a little bit of leftover coffee in the Starbucks cups in cubicle trash cans and pour it all in one single cup, you have a full, free cup of coffee. Now warm it up and drink. Oh, but first add some of the pills you find in people’s desks.
1. Start a fire and then try to find your way of the cubicle maze after downing a shot of Windex.
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