Now Let’s Take A Look At The Weather In Your Neck Of The Woods

Everyone likes to talk about the weather at this time of the year.

“Have you seen how ugly it is out there?”

“Boy, it sure is dark.”

“It’s really starting to get cold.”

Are these conversations we need to be having? What’s the point? We don’t know what the weather will be like and we don’t have any control over it (easy global warming people). Why don’t I just go around and make other simple observations instead, for variety’s sake:

“You know, I’m six feet tall. Really.”

“Is that a burrito you’re eating? I’m pretty sure it’s not a taco, esse.”

“Did you know that that it’s November?”

There are exceptions of course, such as serious weather conditions that impact travel. But have you noticed that you only get in conversations about the weather with people you don’t like? These are peasants that have to talk to to please your family, friends, or business partners. Here’s what I wish I had the balls to really say:

“Wow man, look at all this rain.”

“I haven’t seen so much moisture since I made love to your wife.”

“This heat is driving me crazy.”

“I’m perfectly fine and don’t have such weaknesses.”

“Winter sure got here quick.”

“Unlike your last period.”

Anyway, the point is we need to stop talking so much about the weather and more about women or hot cars or the news or anything. Imagine how refreshing it would be to be at a meeting, waiting for everyone to show up, and instead of talking to the only other guy there about clouds, you could share a laugh about the secretary’s hot ass.

Come on people! For God’s sake, would you ever start a date by saying “Um, looks like it’s going to be cold tonight?” Even if you say, “It looks like it’s going to be hot tonight,” you’re still in trouble.

Just a thought.