The Joker. Killer Croc. Catwoman. The Riddler. Two-Face. I have beat them all. Numerous times in fact, sometimes even when they teamed up. I’ve even worked with Superman a few times. Gotham City has been on its knees begging for my help on countless occasions from these criminals; a call which I have always answered.
But here I am with my laptop in Wayne Manor trying to review the IRS website with its size 10 font. Alfred is of no help. My accountants did their best but how were they supposed to know? The damn government is missing taxes for certain expenses from Wayne Enterprises. Expenses I’m afraid were used to build my Bat Cave, my Batmobile, the Batwing, the Batcycle, and Robin’s outfit. I owe millions in back taxes now. This will bankrupt my company and destroy my name. Further, it will show the world who I am, which is exactly what a guy like Clayface needs.
How could this happen? Why was I so careless? Will I go to jail? The SEC is after me as well. If they find out that I used company funds for my own personal use, I’m going to jail with Bernie Madoff. All of those criminals will be after me and I won’t be able to hold them off in those cold, lonely cells forever. Ugh, how could I have left Quicken out my Bat cave arsenal?
Actually, wait a minute. Hold the phone. These assholes I always deal with, The Riddlers, the Mad Hatters, they always try to frame me for crimes. Maybe it’s my turn. Yeah, that’s what happened. They plotted against Wayne Enterprises. It was their scheme. How dare they?! You’ve done it again Batman. You’ve done it again.
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