Me: Hey thanks for coming. Let me know if you need anything to get it all set up.
Cable guy: Oh yeah, no problem. Yeah, I think we’ll be great. We’ll get you up and running in no time. You want the HD too right? It looks SO sharp.
Me: Yeah, I’ll get that. I asked for it when I ordered since I got the TV.
Cable guy: Oh great, I’ll set it up. Hey you ordered the good stuff to eh?
Me: The good stuff?
Cable guy: I’m just bustin’ your balls hoss. You know, the adult channels.
Me: Oh ha ha, no I’m good. You know, I have the wife and kids now.
Cable guy: I can totally hide it on your bill bro. Just give me the good word.
Me: I appreciate it but I’m fine.
Cable guy: Alright, you sweet talked me into it. We’re doing an unadvertised special on those channels. $20 a month extra, gets billed under your broadband Internet.
Me: No, I’m going to politely pass.
Cable guy: Dude, I don’t think you’ve seen some of the things they do on those channels.
Me: No, I’m okay.
Cable guy: Come on I’ll show you (turns on TV to gay sex).
Me: Whoa!
Cable guy: Sorry man! Wrong channel (flips to PBS). Did you see those two? Man, like two over-eager wrestlers.
Me: Yeah I saw it. Listen, I don’t want to be mean but can we move this along?
Cable guy: Yeah sure. But seriously man, you should see the ladies there. Look, I looked up the websites you watch. I know you’re interested.
Me: What?! You looked up the websites I go to? That’s a total invasion of privacy. Plus, I never go to that crap.
Cable guy: Come on man, I need to know who I’m dealing with so we all check. Sorry. But you did go there.
Me: No I didn’t! My wife goes online looking for coupons and sends e-mails, I just use it for work and my son…oh God Zachary!!
Cable guy: …Uh, let me just go ahead and set up your cable.
Me: ….Zachary….
Posts
3 comments:
Hmmmm...by my calculation Zachary could be at most 4 months old. So...you have a 4 month old that watches raunchy porn? Damn, I knew you'd be a good father! Congrats on the wedding and the baby and all.
Can you um... can you send this cable guy over to my place??
Mike, I didn't know you had it in you to the do math. Jesus dude.
Matt, I bet you wish you didn't have DirecTV!
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